I am a Fashion Mistake !
 Ties are the bane of fashion existence,
for the adult Western male.
Choking the life out of his very essence,
2 for 1- yuppies for sale !

This is the way, society keeps you at
the end of a leash;
It is a noose, and you're dying inside of it;
you will not find, any peace !

Bridge:
I'd rather be drowning inside of a moat;
it looks like you're dangling a dick from your throat !

Chorus:
I am a fashion mistake;
there is only so much crap I can take;
before you a fashion victim you see.
I'm trying hard, you must believe me !

There is something called, the male pantsuit:
a blazer, dress shirt, tie and JEANS !
Are you going to the office, or a worksite?
What does all of this mean?

This ensemble, is referred to as well,
as a fashion mullet;
Business up top, party below;
it should be shot with a bullet !

Bridge:
An excess it seams of meglomania;
this is fashion schizophrenia !

Chorus/Solo

Climax:
Go buy a top hat; purchase a bowler;
be unique, if you dare;
be Tom Landry and buy a fedora;
your wussified friends, you will scare !