Why is my Dick Soft?
 
I live in the
Age of Erectile Dysfunction;
to stockpile Viagra,
is every man's compulsion.

I don't just need them for
times of intimacy.
I need to project in public,
confidently !

Chorus:
Why is my dick soft?
Why is my dick soft?
I asked John Ashcroft;
Why is my dick soft ?

Don't need multi-vitamins,
or anti-depressants.
I just need my erection,
since early adolescence.

I'm depressed all of the time,
but I can deal with that.
But I need my raging hard-on,
long, hard, and fat !

Chorus/Solo

Climax:
I take my dick pills in the morning and at night;
in the middle of a first date, she got a fright !

I take them to go to the park, and walk my dog;
children run in all directions, to escape my log.

I take one before visiting the nursing home;
my grandma was most confused, when I displayed my dome.

I took one before my parents' anniversary;
50 years of wedded bliss; I am, so sorry !

Chorus